You're starting to get on my nerves.

Dearest iPhone, 

I hate you. 

I wanted you so badly before but now you are the main source of my frustration.

You're so temperamental. Sometimes you have excellent reception but most of the time you tell me that you're 'Searching...'. I know you're lying because there's definitely reception in the area - I'm standing in the middle of the city, not Hicksville. Have you ever considered that I might be DYING and need to make an emergency call and don't have time to restart you? On that note, why do you take so long to shut down. And then equally as long to switch back on? 

I also hate that your screen cracks so easily. Sure, I may have dropped you on the floor but it was only from a height of 30cm. You were my second iPhone (after my first one decided to self-destruct) and it was only the third day of our relationship. Why are you so fragile? 

And for some reason you like to freak me out. Sometimes I will make or answer a call and it sounds like an alien from District 9 is on the other side. Why are aliens trying to communicate with me at the most inconvenient times? 

I also hate that you lag. You're only a bit over a year old and I don't store much on you. Why is there a one second delay for you to open an app?

Oh, and what's the deal with me having to charge you every night. Over time your battery life has just gone from crap to crappier. I play a few games, check a few emails, listen to a bit of music and you're telling me that you've only got 50% battery left? 

This is not good enough. As soon as my contract finishes, I'm ridding myself of your incompetence. I'm moving on. I've always wanted to try Samsung Galaxy S. 

Yours Sincerely, 

Emily