The Smart State

9 things I learnt from my two-night stay in Brisvegas:

1. It's hot and humid.

2. The Caxton offers 2-for-1 steak but ask for it well done because 'medium rare' apparently means 'raw' to them. I would know because I accidentally brushed my tongue too far back and gagged and vomited out chunks of raw meat. I learnt that I should not brush my tongue after a boozy-night and, more importantly, that I need to chew my food more.

3. It's the most spaced out city in the world and yet it only takes 20 minutes to get from the city to leafy suburbia.

4. There are lots of bridges in Brisbane and the Story Bridge (the main attraction of the city) is a fifth of the size of Sydney Harbour Bridge.

Story Bridge

5. Young-looking boys at The Vick are brave kids. One youngster interrupted me as I was engaged in conversation with a group of people to tell me that I was 'beautiful'. I asked him if he was taking the piss and he walked away dejected. I respect the courage, though. 

6. Bars close at 2.30am on Tuesday nights (but the casino continues to serve $4 daiquiris for those still keen).

7. Don't order fish and chips from the Greek restaurant near The Lagoon (Brisbane's fake beach). Unless your idea of fish and chips is oily, deep-fried rubber.

The Lagoon

8. Allow more than 30 minutes to drive from the city to airport. Luckily (?) our underestimation of the traffic was saved by the fact that my flight was delayed by 3 hours. I ended up saving $150 that I would have paid for a new ticket but suffered 3 hours twiddling my thumbs at Brisbane Domestic Airport.

9. Sara is a great host. And Harry is a douche who calls me a bitch while I brush my teeth (same night as point 2). The story goes like this: after a long drunken night Harry comes up to me in the bathroom and asks me what I'm doing. I tell him that I'm brushing my teeth. He then calls me a bitch and walks away. No explanation. Nothing.

Gin and Tonic by the pool